(Written in 2022) Last weekend I had the divine opportunity to be witnessed by fellow sisters in ceremony to enact my own personal ritual. To portray externally something that I had been moving through and navigating internally. To feel it and embody it in its fullness

The last few months I have been navigating some deep, personal waters of change. Delving into more depths into my shadows, the suppressed feminine parts of me that had been painted as ‘shameful’ or ‘unworthy’. I’ve felt a stirring of this darkness which I have met with great resistance due to the fear of her power, the things that she’s capable of feels beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.

My ritual entailed me holding a ‘funeral’ for this ‘good girl’ persona I’ve been acting my whole life. The good girl who gives endlessly as a means of her external validation. The good girl who thinks it’s her duty to be a Matyr at all costs wanting to always ‘fix’ and help others at the expense of herself. This good girl who does what she’s told and lives up to others expectations, not wanting to ‘fail’ in the eyes of many. This good girl who was so worried about being ‘too much’, silencing herself, suppressing her voice, not wanting to upset, tip-toeing around. This good girl who has always shown people that she’s fine and has everything together all the time. The nurse, the healer, the lover, the giver, the counsellor, the teacher. Give give give.

The good girl got burnt out

This warrior woman who’s been emerging is reclaiming her Sovereign self. She’s more powerful, more fulfilled, has better boundaries, knows her worth and her strength. This warrior woman knows the capabilities of herself, listening deeply to her Womb wisdom, reclaiming her sexual pleasures and living her desires. She’s more sensual, more pleasurable and doesn’t give a fuck what people think of her. She’s never worried about being ‘too much’ as the people who are aligned with her will hold her in her fullness.

I reclaimed her, using the magic of my menstrual blood as a way to destroy the indoctrinated shame and taboo of our natural feminine bodily cycles. I cried alot, released alot, thanked that good girl for all of her teachings- holding onto her positive virtues- kindness, love, compassion and empathy, and integrating them within this new version of Me.
We are many parts, I choose to see all parts as being equal and accepted. Working to bring those banished into the shadows of shame and guilt back to be reunited with love. Creating wholeness and unity within myself. All parts are seen, heard, acknowledged, welcome and loved